By MONISHA ISWARAN 

Thank all that is good and holy!

The evil monsters have been slain and the mean girls’ reign of terror is no more! Last night’s Bachelor ep was one for the history books, so let’s dive (pun intended) right in.

We open on Badgy swimming – we get it, this guy is athletic! Osher, who doubles as a swim coach, pops up to join Clinger Cass in admiring Nick’s physique.

The new girls have been included on this group date and the OG crew are already plotting how they can snap another ankle.

Serious question – who is coming up with the challenges this season? They are getting increasingly weird and this time there aren’t even any alpacas to watch the girls humiliate themselves (just us viewers instead).

This game of “pool bingo” really assesses the qualities Badgy is looking for in a wife – looking good in a bathing suit. 

Osher wears yet another hat as bingo caller – what does this man’s resume looks like? Special skills: matchmaker, therapist, mathematician (rose counter).

Emily, who I swear to god has never been on camera 'til now, wins the coveted one-on-one time with Badger (aka: the reason they all exist at the moment).

During their chat, Emily STRESSES to Badgy that she is really happy on her own and doesn’t need a partner. That must be why she has chosen this oh-so-conventional method of publicly battling it out for a man.

Badgy decides she might be a viable candidate – he changes his mind as often as Australia changes political leaders.

Badgy makes a controversial decision to choose Brooke AGAIN for a single date – gosh, it’s like he only wants to date one girl? It’s not like he could have done that in the outside world … Oh wait.

Cat is upset she hasn’t been chosen – we all feel terrible for her because she’s just such a good person and treats everyone with kindness. (Hmmmmmmmm.)

Badgy and Brooke go on a date where everyone watching literally fell asleep, so who knows what happened?

Badgy loves how hot  “real” Brooke is. The date is romantic, sappy and no drama happens. We love a dull “wifey”. 

In another startling, fourth wall breaking moment, Cat is evaluating with the evil minions whether she should cry the next time she talks to Badgy to get sympathy points. My oh my she’s authentic.

At the cocktail party, new girl Brit is having a hoot of a time. She just will not stop trying to get a conga line going and I hope she never does. She’s an odd unit but way more interesting than “Original Brit” who is just quietly chilling while waiting to win.

Badgy asks “I-ran-into-the-bush-yesterday” Tenille to demonstrate using candlesticks who the mean girls are. It’s oddly parental and we are NOT here for it. 

Using his “intuition” (the producers let him know), he decides Cat’s toxic energy isn’t gelling with his serene vibe and tells her it’s time to go. She is flabbergasted – having been nothing but a lovely person the entire time??

She gets in the car, not before plugging her jewelry brand one last time, and we are left wondering which poor soul has to pack her bags.

At the rose ceremony, Romy decides she won’t be accepting Badgy’s rose (this is a first). She doesn’t want to be in the mansion without her bully buds and decides to leave.

The other girls don’t even bother pretending to be sad. WE ALL CHEER.

Alisha gets booted along with “Interesting Brit”.

WAIT? ALL THREE EVIL MINIONS ARE GONE? How will we continue to be entertained? Stay tuned to find out.