When football is more than a game

When her 15-year marriage ended, leaving her a single mother of two football-mad boys, Susan* couldn’t cope. In the months that followed, she quit her job and turned her back on her friends and family, hiding away at home, struggling to get out of bed. Here she explains how embracing the children’s passion for football at an AFL game gave them all a second chance.

By EMILY PHIBBS

THERE is nothing like weekend sports to unite or divide a community. To make or break your weekend. To make grown men – and women – cry.

Okay, for some Australian Rules Football (AFL) is simply just a game where 44 men in tight shorts run around chasing an odd-shaped ball.

But for others, like Susan*, it is a lifeline.

She had been a supporter of the game since her earliest recollections. But in 2005, when her 15-year marriage broke up, leaving her a single mother with two young boys, football became the passion that filled the void in her life.

Football was no longer just a weekend sport.

In the months following her separation, Susan did what many in her situation do. She tried to cope, and found she couldn’t. The daily grind of being a mother and having a full-time career to support her children became too much.

“I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t have the energy or motivation to continue on.”

She quit her job and disappeared from social gatherings.

“I was going through some pretty tough times. I didn’t imagine this would be how my life would turn out. I felt alone and it was hard.”

Susan’s boys – both gifted footballers, the older having earned a sort in a Victorian junior league – begged their mother for years to take them to an AFL game. Susan was struggling even to get out of bed.

“It took something pretty big for me to realise that it was affecting my kids. It was a wake-up call, like someone slapping me in the face saying it isn’t just about you.”

That wake-up call was missing her older son’s 50th football match. It was supposed to be a family affair, but she was stuck in her private pain.

Susan regrets that it took missing such an important moment in her son’s life for her to take action. But she realised then that not only had she lost her marriage, her job and her life but was beginning to lose the relationship with her children.

That was when she turned to weekend sports, seeing that football might be the path to rebuilding her family and her life.

Walking into Susan’s home, it’s clear how much footy fever took hold. The small yet quaint apartment is full of scarfs, doona covers and flags. Football is a big part of her life.

“I love it. I miss it when it’s not around. It keeps the days and weeks ticking over and can lift your spirits when you’re down,” Susan explains.

“Being involved in football not only enhanced my self esteem but it allowed me to have a closer relationship with my children.”

Susan shows me a scrapbook filled with photographs and memorabilia. She is keen to explain one particular photograph.

“I designed that,” she says with a proud smile on her face.

She points to a photograph of a banner featuring the words: “Saints on the move, a mission to prove, final fever grows as we stone the Crows.”

“I was amongst a number of people who were asked to design a possible banner that week. And they chose mine. I couldn’t believe it,” she explains.

It has been seven years since Susan’s life completely changed. And while many things have developed over that time, football has remained the one constant.

“I will forever be grateful to football for providing me with an opportunity to build a solid and close relationship with my two boys.”

Sport, perhaps small in the grand scheme of things, can be so much more than just game.

*Names have been changed